Kirstey’s Crux Point

Hi, I’m Kirstey, one of the team members here at Crux Point in addition to being a military spouse and a mother to three beautiful daughters. While my X^ story may not be the most relatable to everyone, I know that the climb will resonate.

The climb is the most important part.

8 weeks after our third baby girl was born, my husband was deployed for 4 months. At first, I thought I could handle it, but little did I know that this postpartum experience would be the most challenging I had ever faced. As a military spouse, I usually could just throw on my figurative cape and push through.  But this time was different.

This time I frequently doubted if I could make it through the day.

This time I felt like I was failing in every aspect of life.

My mental health began to deteriorate on many fronts.

A turning point in this journey was a Facetime call with my husband who was overseas. All three of our daughters were crying at the same time, drowning out our conversation. He felt terrible but knew these circumstances were out of his control, but as the call went on I felt like I was going to snap and I had to just hang up the phone. I realized in that moment that I needed to seize control of my experience during his absence. I refused to look back on this time with regret, especially with our precious new baby, a child we had prayed so hard for. This was not going to be my story and while it felt impossible to manage the climb, I knew I had to.

while it felt impossible to manage the climb, I knew I had to.

I began focusing on what I could manage and control. Self-care became my lifeline. I decided to seek guidance from a coach, not to shed pounds, but to improve my nutrition and to start creating better habits. I understood that nourishing my body with better nutrients would not only support my milk supply, but it would give me more energy and also help my mental health. I started working out in the garage while the baby napped and my other kids played on their scooters. I took up journaling and read more books. I started asking myself the hard questions instead of trying to escape them. I planned special activities for the girls and me to look forward to and chose meals from the store that were easier to cook. Every single day, no matter how resistant I felt, we ventured outside for a walk, ensuring we got our daily dose of Vitamin D. I focused on sustainability,  yet I stayed committed. 

During this challenging period, I experienced more lasting personal growth than ever before. It felt as if I were methodically dissecting the elements of my life that no longer served me, one by one. I began to dream again and rediscovered the importance of doing things for myself, nurturing not only my role as a mother but also my own identity. Taking care of me makes me a better mom. It was a time of immense tenderness and resilience, where the love for my family and the determination to overcome any obstacle shone through.

It was my X^ and now I work every day to help others make it through theirs.