Erika’s Crux Point

My entrepreneurial journey began with a successful restaurant endeavor during my senior year at University. My first full-time job upon graduation was in finance for pwc. Woohoo, I "made it". I was able to pay off my debt and was well on my way to becoming an adult. I had done all of "the things", graduated Cum Laude, and was the first (and only) woman hired to model CDOs (those archaic and disastrous Collateralized Debt Obligations that my finance professors assured me I'd never run into again.

Sidenote: Reference the film, The Big Short. Or don't!

I was dating the man of my dreams, working with friends who had become family, and enjoying my pseudo and ego-centric importance as a "successful" business person. But I was emotionally bankrupt. I had this incessant, inner knowing that gnawed at me. I felt a sense of betrayal for going against my heart's calling to be in service as a doctor. This was a dream I'd held my entire life until working in the field long enough to realize that the Western medical system was neither as pro-healing nor patient-centric as I fantasized it'd be. (This is all relevant later, I promise).

Then, 2008 happened which changed the course and direction of my life. That year, my best friend's brother died in Vietnam, my partner died in an accident, my grandmother died, my mother was diagnosed with late-stage cancer, my best friend moved away, and the market crashed.

The world around me was crumbling as I descended into one of the deepest spaces of existential questioning I had ever experienced.

I felt broken and lost.

This became the first of many times that I would start over, chart my own path and reinvent my life.

I began to excavate the origins of my core beliefs and got clearer on the myriad of ways I'd been societally conditioned and externally validated. This became the first of many times that I would start over, chart my own path and reinvent my life. I started living from the source of truth within me. I envisioned what the texture of my life would become once I stepped off the hedonic treadmill of more is more.

The burnout was real.

It was then that I slowly began to co-create and work in spaces that really spoke to my heart. I transitioned into coaching and People and Culture (formerly, HR) and never looked back. In retrospect, I realized that my calling was always to be in service, and I felt honored and fortunate to show up for people where they needed the most support and spent the vast majority of their waking life - at work. I realized the path to becoming a healer was non-linear and less related to the conventional, narrow definition of healing. In my case, I was acting as a bridge to help people meet themselves and establish a sense of harmony and thriving in the workplace. I was a catalyst for reflection and deeper questioning and naturally helped people examine and investigate the inner workings of their minds and how it shows up in the workplace and all of their relationships.

Due to my own struggles with anxiety, imposter syndrome (do I really belong here?!), and perfectionistic tendencies (shout out to any other first-generation, eldest children from Latino/BIPOC households), I was able to identify that in others. We started our work from the inside out and my coaching practice organically grew itself, becoming its own organism, fed by in-house referrals.

I continue to live a life of integrity connected to my core values including that of freedom as an example. This requires constant vigilance, curiosity, and uncovering -- from understanding what inner freedom feels like, to having time and other forms of autonomy, to giving voice to others with the adage of "no one is free until we are all free" interwoven into my work and DNA.

I knew it was my life's work to be in service, but I had no idea it would be through helping people find their path to inner truth, wholeness, and embodied leadership. I come alive by standing on the edge of the precipice with my clients and bearing witness as they take an aligned, courageous leap of faith. A final quote that motivates, uplifts, and inspires me daily is from the inimitable Terence McKenna, 

"Nature loves courage. You make the commitment and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these teachers and philosophers who really counted, who really touched the alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed.”